"My friend gave me three Percocets because I have been in a lot of pain. And now the company I am interviewing with wants to give me a drug test. How long will it take for them to leave my system?"
Patient: "Did you get my Vicodin and Ativan faxed from my doctor? They said they faxed it an hour ago."
Pharmacist: "I'll call and ask." To the doctor's office: "Hi, did you fax these prescriptions to us?"
Doctor's Office: "No, the doctor denied the refills."
Pharmacist to Patient: "Hi, so, the doctor denied both of those - that's why we didn't get a fax."
Patient: "I know. Can you call them again tomorrow?"
"Do you carry those Vick's vapor things? They are about this big [holds forefinger and thumb to indicate a length of three inches] and they look like a tampon!!"